He is friends with another neighbor who once asked me, “Are you familiar with the philosophy of Jordan Peterson?” Eric sets off boom boom fireworks when the Pats/Bruins/Red Sox win championships. His air compressor runs all weekend long. Eric is retired and always working on his cedar shingles, but he never seems to be done. My neighbor - let’s call him Eric - bought one of these trucks. It’s the perfect color to appeal to cosplay pew pew gun nuts who talk about freedom not being being free but never quite made it down to the Army enlistment office for the Iraq War. Not since Gilligan’s Island has quicksand been this popular. Since there is no reason to not to know anything (copyright Google), I looked up the official name. For a while, I just called it the Silly Putty truck. So many stupid grey trucks.īut lately, I see fewer gray Toyotas and more of this uninspired tan color. Hell, I even dated a guy who had one, so after he dumped me we broke up, I would see one and think, “Is that Dave? Oh wait, is that one Dave? Is that Dave in the West Marine parking lot? Is Dave at Applebee’s getting mozzarella sticks without me?” We live on an island, and I saw Dave everywhere. “Are you in construction?” “No, I’m a regional manager for Xerox.”Ī few years ago, my local streets were full of metallic gray Toyota Tundra pick-ups. Most of the time, the trucks are sitting in a Schaumburg, Illinois, office parking lot. One day they might need to buy some plywood from Home Depot or haul junk to the dump, so Americans - mostly dudes - buy trucks. In America, most people buy cars for their maximum usage. Welcome to the first in the quarantine series I am calling Thanks, I hate it. So let me try something else I am very good at: judging ugly ass shit. I’m here for the sportsball, but since all live tennis tournaments are cancelled, I’m struggling. Beth is our Outlander subject matter expert. Fauci has medical knowledge and perfectly timed face-palms. Engine: 5.We all have our personal brand.Double Wishbone Front Suspension w/Coil Springs.Class IV Towing Equipment -inc: Hitch, Brake Controller and Trailer Sway Control.Brake Actuated Limited Slip Differential.4-Wheel Disc Brakes w/4-Wheel ABS, Front And Rear Vented Discs and Brake Assist.Wheels: 20" x 8J Split 5-Spoke Machined Alloy.Variable Intermittent Wipers w/Heated Wiper Park.Manual-Leveling Auto On/Off Aero-Composite Led Low/High Beam Daytime Running Auto High-Beam Headlamps w/Delay-Off.Full-Size Spare Tire Stored Underbody w/Crankdown.Chrome Rear Step Bumper w/Chrome Rub Strip/Fascia Accent.Chrome Power Heated Side Mirrors w/Manual Folding.Black Side Windows Trim, Black Front Windshield Trim and Black Rear Window Trim.Black Front Bumper w/Chrome Rub Strip/Fascia Accent and 2 Tow Hooks.Remote Keyless Entry w/Integrated Key Transmitter, 4 Door Curb/Courtesy, Illuminated Entry and Panic Button.Radio: Entune (subscription required) Premium Audio AM/FM w/HD Radio & CD -inc: integrated navigation system, MP3/WMA playback capability, AM/FM cache radio, 9 speakers, 7" high-resolution touch-screen w/split-screen display, auxiliary audio jack, USB media port, HD Radio predictive traffic and Doppler weather overlay, Bluetooth hands-free phone capability w/advanced voice recognition, phone book access and music streaming and Siri Eyes Free, Entune (subscription required) App Suite, Destination Search, iHeartRadio, Yelp and Slacker Radio, SIRIUSXM Satellite Radio (subscription required), complimentary SiriusXM All Access.Radio w/Seek-Scan, Clock, Speed Compensated Volume Control, Steering Wheel Controls and Radio Data System.Power 1st Row Windows w/Driver 1-Touch Down.Manual Tilt/Telescoping Steering Column.Manual Adjustable Front Head Restraints and Manual Foldable Rear Head Restraints.Interior Trim -inc: Simulated Wood/Metal-Look Instrument Panel Insert, Metal-Look Door Panel Insert, Metal-Look Console Insert and Metal-Look Interior Accents.HVAC -inc: Underseat Ducts and Console Ducts.Heated Front Bucket Seats -inc: 10-way power-adjustable driver's seat and 6-way power-adjustable front passenger seat.Gauges -inc: Speedometer, Odometer, Voltmeter, Oil Pressure, Engine Coolant Temp, Tachometer, Trip Odometer and Trip Computer.Full Floor Console w/Covered Storage, Mini Overhead Console w/Storage and 3 12V DC Power Outlets.Full Carpet Floor Covering -inc: Carpet Front And Rear Floor Mats.Front Center Armrest and Rear Center Armrest.Dual Zone Front Automatic Air Conditioning.Driver And Passenger Visor Vanity Mirrors w/Driver And Passenger Illumination, Driver And Passenger Auxiliary Mirror.Dashboard Storage, Driver / Passenger And Rear Door Bins.Cruise Control w/Steering Wheel Controls.60-40 Folding Split-Bench Front Facing Fold-Up Cushion Rear Seat.
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